Liberals Lose Decisive Battle of Winter Solstice — Outcome of War on Christmas in Doubt
Conservatives scored a massive victory at the Battle of Winter Solstice on Monday, edging them closer to victory in the War on Christmas.
The “Great Conjunction” appeared in the night sky on Monday, when Jupiter and Saturn appeared at their closest — only a tenth of a degree apart. The appearance of the so called “Christmas Star” was a massive victory for conservatives at the Battle of Winter Solstice.
The star’s appearance comes on the heels of President Trump saying “Merry Christmas.” Though presidents from both parties have said the uncontroversial phrase for decades, he insists nobody is allowed to say it.
The ongoing war, which most liberals aren’t actually fighting, has galvanized conservatives, who just last year came out on the losing end at the Battle of the Red Starbucks Cup With Snowflakes On It.