I’m Your Elf on the Shelf and I Hate You

Please Stop Making Me Watch You All Day

It’s become pretty popular the last few years to bash me as some kind of Big Brother creeper who watches your kid’s every move. I’ve read all your “think” pieces about how I’m Foucault’s panopticon put into practice, keeping order through the fear of a single set of omnipresent eyes on the kid at all times…blah blah blah…