University of Austin Job Ad
Seeking Truth Tellers of Our Truth
The University of Austin is seeking Assistant/Associate Professors in every field other than Critical Race Theory to join a start-up focused on “the intrepid pursuit of truth.” Think you have what it takes to join our truth squad at a college deceptively named to make you think we’re The University of Texas at Austin? We’re not, we think what they do is bad, but we’re willing to ride their coattails and hope a few folks enroll on accident. Plus we hope they’ll let us use their dorms once we actually have a school…which we don’t, but we will…at some point…hypothetically, if the woke mob will allow it ;)
UATX is seeking truth tellers in a variety of disciplines to join our quest to fix America’s “broken higher education system” by finally telling our version of the truth. We seek to recruit accomplished professionals and academics with serious “academic” questions about The 1619 Project, publications on the dangers of “wokeness,” and a strong internal drive fueled by unwarranted grievance. We are seeking applicants who are deeply invested in the transformation of higher education and its future by focusing on the things from the past we all thought we’d moved beyond. The ideal candidate will have an active research and publication record that has been derailed by political correctness, rarely get invited to family holidays, and have a national reputation for stirring shit up on Twitter. Special consideration given to anyone who has been quote-tweeted by Nikole Hannah-Jones.
The University: Sure, technically, we don’t exist. We aren’t accredited and we don’t have a physical space. We don’t grant degrees yet and we need A LOT of money still. But other institutions of higher learning have faltered by sticking to these and other “tried and true” means and what has it gotten us? Cancel culture. Like Board Member Joe Lonsdale, do you think men who take paternity leave are losers ? Want to work alongside a professor who recently resigned amid allegations of transphobia? For some reason do you think David Mamet is an underrepresented voice in the American Theatre? UATX is the home for those who have very comfortable homes but feel like someone is trying to take them away.
Preferred Qualifications:
- A terminal degree from an…
